There have been times when my prayers seem to fall in line with God’s will and he answers them just how I hoped he would. I love it when that happens! But, more often than not, there is a disconnect. That time of waiting, the season of “hoped for, but not yet”, makes my heart uneasy. The ugly, honest truth bubbles up to the surface- I don’t fully believe that God is good. I spent the better part of my summer wondering about God’s goodness before I had the audacity to ask him about it. I tried to conquer the doubt by finding verses and articles about His goodness, but the uncertainty lingered. Eventually I came to the (now obvious) conclusion that I couldn’t answer my own question. I had to humble myself before the One I was questioning. Here is the gist of that prayer:

Lord, I know I have your Word and that should be enough, but I’m just really not sure that you are good like it says. I’ve been hearing a lot of “no’s” from you lately and I’m starting to wonder if your goodness is for me. Is “good” just a word we use to describe you in general? This is too big of a question for me to grasp on my own. God, will you show me?”

It wasn’t until I asked him about it that I was reminded that experience, not just knowledge, is integral to knowing God’s character. In Psalm 34, David can barely contain his enthusiasm when writing about God’s goodness. In verse 8 he exhorts us to “taste and see that the Lord is good.” David invites us not just to hear or read about God’s goodness, but to savor it and gaze upon it. He gives us an active and intimate offer to experience our God.

An experience is personal; it is something we can only understand by trying ourselves. I can describe how delicious my Grandma Lila’s cooking is, but you won’t really grasp it until you’ve sat at her table and tasted the care she puts into a dish. In this way, an experience isn’t so much a description as it is an inscription. It etches in us something deeper than words can define. And this kind of inscribing experience is what David extends when he encourages us to taste and see that the Lord is good.

Asking God to give me more than scripture to understand his goodness felt like I was breaking a bunch of unwritten rules. I was so caught up in not offending God with my question that I ended up dulling my understanding of him. Once I asked, it was like he gave me new eyes to see just how good he is. But I can’t adequately describe any of that to you. So here is my encouragement: Experience your God. He has given us a standing invitation to know him. He will always respond to our questions because he is the one who initiated with us in the first place.

Humble your heart by acknowledging you don’t know our great God as much as you thought you did. Pose your question to him and listen. Delight when it seems as though he answers, “I’m so glad you asked!”

p.s. Add this song to your playlist. The whole album has been a good encouragement to come and experience the Lord.